The start is always the hardest part, they say. Whether it was fear holding us back or uncertainty, taking the first step into the unknown becomes a challenge that holds us back... or maybe it is the past and old memories that haunt us and generates our hesitant steps? Either way, once the first step is taken, there is no going back.



I got married and moved to Dubai, moving by that to another university to study in. I won't be talking about the beginning of marriage life and its responsibilities, nor the beginning of a whole social life which I have to create for myself as I moved to another emirate, but the beginning of a new university life, and let me tell you this - it was terrifying.
Other than the uncertainty on my behalf of whether i'll be capable enough to balance my wifey-responsibilities, studying journey, and social activities, I entered a new atmosphere which I have never experienced before, and for the first time in a very long time: I felt lonely. The whole atmosphere was different, and being new made it all harder to adapt to...

I have already experienced new starts; once when I moved with my family to Syria for five years when I was 10 years old, and another time when I entered my old university at the age of 17, but never previously have I felt this nostalgia and loneliness! I guess the only reason for that is because I grew older, and as I did, I became more attached to my surroundings... Which apparently is bad.
I have also experienced being in friendships that came to an end, ones which included me getting very attached to others, as well as getting attached to places as I felt I simply found myself in, and then traveling to some other place or country. Therefore, I should - by now - be able to control my emotions and attachment to my surroundings! But I guess things are easier said than done.

I know I'm harming myself by being an introvert in this new environment, but I just can't help it! I can't help missing my friends whenever I'm in the bus alone, or the library, or even the classrooms. I keep telling everyone of how important it is for yourself to let go in order to move on, but why aren't I doing that?!

....

Writing this has taken me a week. I've given myself 7 days to put my feelings to the test and see whether they have changed - and they have, very slightly, become more positive.
Yes, I still do feel alone, and I miss my friends TERRIBLY! But I have somehow came out of my shell and made some new friends... I've also decided on how I want to spend the rest of this year here; I will try my best to adapt and move on, but stay focused on what's already in my hands: my house and amazing husband, my duties as a young Muslimah growing up and is ready to learn and give back to her religion and community, and most importantly, focus on my studies. I'm actually looking forward to this semester and year, hoping massively that I'd one day look back at this post and find it weird and amusing how I could actually think of such thoughts and be negative.

I mean, t's just the first week that's hard and terrible.. right?

A new chapter of your life begins as you enter the university campus in awe.. You start thinking to yourself and wondering how you'll manage to prove yourself in classes full of strangers and whether you'll be able to familiarize yourself with your surroundings and make friends - you start scaring yourself before you even start! However, once you actually start attending classes and getting to know the people, you realize how your fears and concerns shouldn't have been there in the first place; slowly you'll grow to like the major you have chosen and become more confident, and whether you liked it or not, you'll make a group of friends that you'll hang out with whenever you're free.

In the previous blogposts, I have spoken about choosing your major and university, however, in this blogpost, I shall hopefully help you, beautiful people, to meet the right type of people and make the right type of friendships as who you will meet in university will be of every type and background, of good and bad qualities and intentions..

First, be welcoming and pleasant.. Introduce yourself to the student sitting next to you or the one that attends many of your classes so you'd have something in common to talk about and start a conversation; slowly, you will make friends with everyone in your classroom and be able to tell apart hard-working students from lazy ones and who you should stay friends with and who you shouldn't.

However, keep in mind that not everyone around you may be as welcoming as you, and they either need time to familiarize themselves with their surroundings or are very introverted. Personally, on my first day of university I met a girl and started talking to her. but she was so quiet that I thought she didn't like me or didn't want to make friends at all! Sure enough, she started opening up and we became very good friends.

Second, make friends with those that will benefit you as you will benefit them. Such friends will be willing to help you whenever you're unsure about something or you needed help, and you in return will help them whenever they may need your help.. Such friends were very important to me in my studio and drawing courses; my friends and I would lend each other an pen, an eraser... but most importantly, an opinion. Hearing different points of view really helps in polishing your ideas, and hearing them from those that share your same set of rules but different imagination is absolutely wonderful!

Third, assume the best about people, but beware of the worst. The people you will encounter on a daily basis are from different natures and personalities; some are nice, while others are mean.. Some are selfless, while others are needy and greedy... etc.
Therefore, try to be as nice as you can to everyone and offer your help as long as it doesn't become a standard or unappreciated by the other, and hold yourself from becoming too attached fast as it may hurt you.

Fourth, have your limits and learn to say no.. Don't get carried away helping people who are unappreciative, but also don't be too greedy to offer any help. Don't count too much on people and depend mostly on yourself because if you're too dependent, people will get sick eventually and probably start avoiding you or making excuses to helping you! Which is a feeling I personally have personally developed towards a friend of mine, and it hurts to think that I wouldn't offer her help or even sit around and talk to her, but I just can't! ><'

Last but not least.. Most importantly.. BE YOURSELF. I don't really have any explanation to this as it is self-explanatory, but always keep that in mind as start applying that from day one ;)

Also, a very important word to put out there is that friends make your days at uni much happier and easier, and I'm saying that because not everyone is actually willing to put themselves out there and make new friends.. Sure, your old friends mean everything to you but it doesn't always happen that you're all together at the same place and time. They might be in a different university in your country or even abroad! So don't limit yourself to having only them, but meet new people, and enjoy everyday as if it's your last day, as well as staying in touch with your old peeps. Be ready to take chances and explore, make new memories with new people and be kind to everyone around you <3