On July 10th, my life started to change.. I was still 12 days away from my due date so my mind was somewhat at ease.. "It's your first baby - of course you'll last through your whole month!"
However, that wasn't the case at all!

Wednesday, July 10th, 4:10 am..
I woke up with my family to pray Fajr, and that was when I saw it.. the 'mucus plug'.. A wave of mixed emotions flooded inside but I was, mostly, surprised. Through out the last months of my pregnancy, my husband would talk to the baby and ask her to wait until the 10th of July had passed! He had a lot of things to do and tasks to finish off before the baby's arrival, but I thought that wasn't the case. To make it even more complex, reading about the plug and what it means, articles on the web said cramps could start right away or after a few days!

10:00 am..
I didn't get much sleep thinking about what I saw earlier and what it meant..
I was going to meet my baby soon - what is this weird thing I'm feeling, is it a cramp or am I imaging things - will my husband be able to drop everything and come right away if I went now into labor  - SO many thoughts running through my mind but thankfully, being with my family distracted me a bit and so I was able to relax.
I was feeling inconsistent cramps which I considered to be braxton hicks.. They were very similar to third or fourth-day menstrual cramps, but they were nothing like what I had read or heard about, which made me really confused, so I contacted my doctor to see if I should pass by to get checked, and she advised to wait until the cramps got worse, but if I was still worried, I could pass by the hospital on Saturday to get checked and figure out what's happening.

5:00 pm..
My mom and I set a list of things to do every day until my due date and one task-to-do was to visit a friend of hers before she traveled and left the country for good. Luckily, she was also our neighbor, so the journey to her apartment was fast and short.
Standing at the door, I got my first strong cramp, but still, it was different from the cramps I read about and thought I should be having. The cramps started getting more consistent, but the pain was tolerable, and we stayed at mom's neighbor's place for a good hour or so..

8:00 pm..
Cramps are getting stronger and more consistent, like first or second-day menstrual cramps.. But then again, are they really cramps?! I read that they should start from the back and then move forward within my tummy, but I wasn't feeling that at all.

10:00 pm..
Dinner time!
My family and I sat down together to have dinner, and I decided to have a cup of instant noodles.
The cramps are increasing, and so I decided to start timing them on a app on my phone, and to my surprise, they were about 5 to 4 minutes apart. The pain was still tolerable, though much stronger than before, and so I decided to worry about it later and finish off my dinner (lol!)
On my way into the living room, I felt the strongest cramp yet. It was so painful I had to stand still and close my eyes until it passed. My dad saw me and he immediately called out to my mom, "honey! put your hijab on, we're going to the hospital", apparently he recognized that look from when my mom would go into labour, and so we both started to get dressed.
I prayed Isha', called my husband, and Alhamdulillah he was just done with his meeting and was headed my way.
And off we went to the hospital..

11:30 pm..
Cramps are getting closer, stronger, and 4 minutes apart. I got checked into the room and I was 4 cm dilated.. To manage the pain I kept walking around the room, and because I wanted to have a fully natural birth, I knew I had to manage my pain tolerance as much as I could, but it wasn't that easy after all.

Thursday, July 11th, 2:00 am..
There's something wrong - why are my cramps getting less painful?! I was still 7 cm dilated and so the doctor wouldn't see me just yet. I was now able to get up from the bed and walk around the room some more, and my mom and husband would take turns in staying up with me and taking a snooze in the prayer room downstairs.

3:30 am..
The pain was back - much stronger than before, and it would last longer, too.
I wasn't 10 cm dilated yet, but I kept on feeling the urge to push..

Then, the moment finally came.
I was 10 cm dilated.. The doctor came and I started to push..
My mom would encourage me by telling me I had a few more pushes until I'm done and I'm relieved..
The pain was unbearable.
I felt like I wanted to rip something open with my bare hands - or scream at the top of my lungs.
I wanted to bend down, hold my baby's head from inside me and pull her out so I could be done with the pain!
One second it was there..
The next, it wasn't.
An instant relief.

All the pain and hurting and the pushing; it all came to an end, and it was a beautiful feeling.. But better and more beautiful than that feeling was hearing my baby's first cries.
I wanted to cry, but no tears would come.. Laugh, but I was too tired to crack a smile!
All my birth plans of holding my baby right after the delivery or cord clamping delay went to waste as I didn't care anymore.
Is she okay? Does she have ten fingers and ten toes? What does she look like?
I looked at her and tried to soothe her as soon as I held her onto my arms and put her on my chest.
The nurse quickly ripped my hospital gown open from top so I could breastfeed her - or at least, attempt to.

Thursday, July 11th, 4:32 am.. My baby arrived into this world.
Thursday, July 11th, 4:32 am.. My life changed forever.
Thursday, July 11th, 4:32 am.. Was the day I understood how powerful I really am.
I appreciated my mom that day more than ever.
I felt God's blessings wash over me through out the whole day.
How? When? What happened?
Memories of that day would now flash across my eyes as I would look at the photos,
The pain? I only remember that I was actually in pain, but how bad? I don't remember at all!
How has time passed by so fast? Malak is four months old today but it doesn't feel like 121,667 days have passed.. 121,667 memories.. 121,667 new lessons I would learn everyday..

Alhamdulillah for all His blessings that I could never count 💕 
Alhamdulillah for all His blessings that I do and don't know 💕 
Alhamdulillah for the day that changed my life forever 💕